Way back when, someone put into our heads that
weddings were just for girls. If we got too involved in that
sort of thing,
we must be some kind of punk. That notion is not true. Just
as in other facets of our lives, we need information to proceed
at anything we are going to take part of. The wedding is no
longer just the bride’s affair; it’s a chance for
the groom to celebrate with his friends and family as well.
I’m not advocating that you attend every planning session,
but at least stay attuned to what’s going on. It is important
to remember that you are a vital part of the wedding.
Take Brad
for instance, a groom in his mid-twenties whose fiancé,
Jill, had been planning their summer wedding for about a
year. Brad made it clear that he was not interested in the
planning
whatsoever. When Brad arrived at his destination wedding,
he had no idea what was in store for him. Jill had arranged
for
him and his groomsmen to wear pastel colored sarongs, flip
flops and white linen shirts. Needless to say Brad was furious
and quite embarrassed. But those are the kinds of things
that can happen when guys choose not to participate in the
planning
process.
Our lifestyles have changed and so have our roles.
Not only are guys responsible for the honeymoon, there are
certain
tasks that are fun to plan such as music, lighting, transportation,
and catering.
Some of the fondest memories you’ll have
as a couple is the time you spend with each other planning
your wedding.
The wedding preparation can be just as bright a memory as
the wedding day itself.
 Planning
Tips. Here are some easy planning tips to share
with your bride and common mishaps to avoid.
Invitations. Give
your guests adequate notice. It is conventional to send invitations
six weeks before the wedding. That means you
will have to start well in advance. Allow time for finalizing
your guest list, gathering addresses, making corrections/additions
and final proofreading. Out of town guests should receive
invitations eight weeks in advance to provide time to make
affordable and convenient arrangements. Consider sending
a “Save the Date” notice before the actual invitations
so they may begin making travel plans.
Outdoor
Weddings. Outdoor weddings are popular in our area,
however, require a solid contingency plan for inclement weather.
Don’t
just think about rain, consider wind and temperatures as
well. The blazing sun can be as miserable as drenching rain.
Consider adding a tent to a garden wedding. Tents come in
a variety of sizes and styles — from the basic overhead
shelter to enclosed climate controlled models — and
can be quite elegant when decorated. Even when events are
indoors, umbrellas at the door are a good idea.
Added
Touches. Guests will appreciate advance notice on
attire suitable for the climate. A small hand fan on each of
the seats
is an
especially thoughtful gesture. Metal or vinyl chairs can
get hot and sticky, so for garden weddings, choose wood slat
or rent cotton slipcovers. Do provide plenty of cool beverages
and snacks to sustain the wedding party during the pre-ceremony
preparations and picture taking. They might not have had
time to eat. It’s not only thoughtful, it is wise.
Flowers. Flowers
add grace and will enhance the beauty of your wedding. What
works in a very ornate setting might look completely
wrong in a simple chapel or lakeside garden. Consider scale,
proportion, color and appropriateness to event and setting.
(You don’t want guests to wonder if it’s a wedding,
funeral or the Kentucky Derby!)
Similarly, non-seasonal flowers
strike a discordant note. They also impose additional cost
and put your whole design at risk
if there is any delay in shipment. There’s good reason
to think twice about poinsettias in June or tulips in November!
A good florist has a feel for this, and can be an invaluable
ally as you select your flowers. Plan too for the effects of
heat and hugs on boutonnières and corsages. Sprays of
gardenia, freesia and sweet pea are lovely, but quite delicate.
Many floral selections may not hold up for the entire event,
so have backups on-site.
Marriage
License. One of the most basic details overlooked
is the marriage license! There are different laws for MD,VA, & DC
so call your local courthouse well in advance to learn specific
requirements,
which can entail blood work, genealogy information and other
procedures that can take days or weeks. Don’t procrastinate!
André Wells, is an event planner based in Washington,
DC. In 1997, he married his love Robin, who is an attorney.
They recently welcomed their beautiful son, Christopher Robin,
to the family. André has coordinated special events
at The White House, The Capitol Building, The Smithsonian and
society weddings. He also sits on the Board of The International
Special Events Society and The National Association of Catering
Executives and is a contributing writer for BRIDE’s magazine.
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